Here is a list of the top 10 things that happened to Flinkasorous in the past 99,187,200 seconds.
1. Shortly after the last post, Flink and his friend Travis decided they wanted to meet Jon Stewart. They built a bamboo bike, hacked their way to the top of a competition, won thus competition, met a former President of the US, asked Craig about his list, and got rejected by Neil deGrasse Tyson on television. After all that, they did meet Jon Stewart, who called them a bunch of mother******s on his show. Don't believe me? Proof here.
2. Flink and Wibbitz went on a Eurotrip. Not too many lies were told on this trip, but Wibbitz got asked if she wanted to go Salsa dancing with our waiter in Barcelona. I don't know what it is about this girl and European waitstaff, but they certainly do love her (attn: Hugo from previous post). We also ate a lot of Paella.
3. What happens when the Flink family, Pants, and Hans Gruber ride bikes around NY, lie about Hans Gruber being the son of German Prime Minister Angela Merkel, drink buckets of margaritas, and steal hats off of people's heads? BT12, that's what happens. Nuff said.
4. Flink and his friend Tink (short for Tinkerbell, but he gets a little embarrassed, so we will just call him Tink) go puddle jumping to visit Hans Gruber in the land of Momma Merkel. Within 12 hours, Tink is lost in Germany with no means of communication and a language barrier between all Merkelettes he meets. Four hours later, he turns up at Hans Gruber's apartment, several miles away from his last sighting, shirtless and covered in rain. A little bit of fairy dust goes a long way working miracles (note: make sure it is the correct fairy dust. There are many people on the streets of Germany claiming to have fairy dust. This is not what you are looking for.)
5. Pants got a year older. Flink and the Flinkstones through him a surprise party. He sang a song. It got weird. There were then another 17 surprise parties.
6. Flink went to brunch with Tink and the Flinkstones for Tink's birthday. This one wasn't a surprise party. The service was impeccable. Flink started dating Wendy the Waitress, or WW.
7. Flink and WW drove to Florida, stayed with DJ Ablation, went to Harry Potter World, and saw where they filmed the end of Men In Black 3. Will Smith wasn't there, but some guy that looked like Boris the Destroyer was. We also got a great photo of an asian tourist's finger.
8. Flink became Uncle Flink! I-Money and Woodrow had a beautiful baby girl, Bailey. She knows all the animal noises! Her favorite are birds (they go tweet tweet tweet).
9. Flink also became Professor Flink. Not really sure how that one happened. Fake it until you make it?
10. Justin Beiber still sucks, the New England Patriots are world champions, Flink's middle school basketball teammate pitches for the New York Mets, they are still making Fast and Furious movies and they are still awesome, The Avengers saved all of humanity despite Thor not having the horse that he needed, Shaq is still relevant, and you still cannot have lunch with a Rhinoceros.
Well, that pretty much covers everything that happened in the past
Keep spreading the jam.
Flinkey out.
