Dropshots, Lobs and a Wedding

Ahoy mateys. Flinsker here. So this weekend I traveled up to Saugerties, NY to spend the weekend at tennis camp with the family for Papa Bear's fifty-fifth (Double Nickel) birthday. Here is a little background on tennis camp. Ever since I was in 10th grade, every Martin Luther King Jr weekend, Pappa Bear and I travel up to tennis camp where we meet up with the same group of people that we met our first year there. Pappa Bear decided he wanted to spend his birthday this year at tennis camp with his entire family. Now the Flinkey family is a very active family, known for riding our bikes hundreds of miles and calling it "a vacation". Tennis, however, is not a passion shared throughout the family. My mother (Mamma Bear), Pappa Bear and myself are all avid tennis players, however my sisters I-Money and Wibbitz are not lovers of the game. However, they agreed to come join us for the weekend and celebrate Pappa Bear's birthday. Once we arrived, we dropped our bags off in our rooms and went to the main house to scope what type of people we will be staying with for the next two days. To our surprise, we saw two of our friends from our MLK weekend group. Pappa Bear and myself were very excited to randomly run into our friends (Pappa Bear calls them his second family). There was a very diverse group in the main house waiting for us. A kindergarden teacher who works in Malaysia and her "friend" Mark, a woman I-Money dubbed as "Crazy Eyes",  as well as several other characters. We could tell immediately that this would be an interesting weekend to say the least.

The next morning we woke up and were ready to start playing tennis (or at least some of us were...). Pappa Bear and myself were put on a court with lots of really good tennis players, Mamma Bear was placed on a court with players far less talented than herself (don't worry y'all, she got moved later in the day), and I-Money and Wibbitz were put on a court together with two other women, one of whom looked like she belonged on Golden Girls. After several hours of tennis, we regrouped at lunch. The moment of truth... did I-Money and Wibbitz have a good time?!?! At lunch, all they would talk about was how much they loved their instructor Aga. As it turns out, Aga, short for Agnieszka, is a beautiful Polish tennis player who recently graduated from University of Kentucky and will be deported from our beautiful US of A in two weeks because her student visa will have expired. Here is where I come in... I think you all know where this is heading. Flinkster to the rescue!

If I was to marry Aga, she wouldn't have to worry about being sent back to Poland and can stay and work at tennis camp forever! If Aga was to marry me, I would get to marry a beautiful Polish tennis star and would have a great mixed doubles partner. Win win, right? Well I thought so. Later that night, when we were all getting ready to go dancing at the Barn Party featuring DJ Goldie (more like DJ Oldie... Betty White clone. By the way, you did read that correctly, in Saugaries, NY they have barn parties DJed by 87 year old women) I approached Aga, got down on one knee, and asked if she would marry me, followed by me saying "Welcome to America". She giggled, blushed, and looked at her friends. Her Indian friend, also a tennis pro, asked if he could come to my bachelor party. Great, we are talking about the bachelor party, looks like there's gunna be a wedding in Saugarties! DJ Goldie, get out your ones and twos! After finishing up small talk with Aga and her friends (no lies this time, don't want to start lying to my wife already), I head to bed.

The next day, we finish our last tennis session and after meeting up with I-Money and Wibbitz, I learn that Aga didn't speak about me once and was in fact not going to marry me. She was upset that I did not have a ring to give her when I went down on one knee. Turns out there will be no wedding in Saugarties after all. If only Mamma Bear and Pappa Bear gave me my bar-mitzvah money, maybe then I'd be able to afford a nice ring for my Polish bride. I will be accepting ring donations for the next 13 days.

Well that's the story of how Flinkey almost got hitched.

Until next time.
Flinkey out.